Hobbitses can not take my precious. The eye will stop them. Fill their bellies, it will. Then, when they can not move, they will be mine! All mine!
Eye of Sauron
1 tube crescent dough
8 large pasta shells
8 premade meatballs
1 cup red pasta sauce
8 tsp shredded mozzarella
Boil their shells eyes till soft and tender.
Unroll the crescent dough, all pale and weak, weaker than Smeegle it is, and roll it up like eyeless worms in a dark cave.
The worms are for you. Yes, U! Make them into a U! So pale, so weak. Must bake for 10-12 minutes until they’re as golden as my precious.
Heat your sauce until it’s as warm as blood and heat your meatballs till they’re as warm and trembly as Hobbitses knees.
Each eye is filled with one bloody tablespoon of sauce.
Each bleeding socket plugged with one tasty meatball.
Now, you must place Sauron’s all seeing eye into it’s crescent socket.
Sprinkle the edges of his eye with cheeses all milky and white like the tears of Elveses.
Wash it down with salty blood and crunchy bones and sweet lemon donuts, almost as sweet as my precious.
Need more Hobbity goodness in your life?
Preview even more recipes from An Unexpected Cookbook: The Unofficial Book of Hobbit Cookery, available now!
Sample recipes from all seven chapters of An Unexpected Cookbook:
Breakfast – Poached Pears Stuffed with Frumenty
Second Breakfast – Beef and Mushroom Stuffed Hand Pies
Elevenses – Shire Seed Cake
Luncheon – Stewed Hare with Root Vegetables and Dumplings
Afternoon Tea – Shortbread
Supper – Stuffed Roasted Mushrooms
Dinner – Boxty on the Griddle with Bacon
Need more? Get your own copy of An Unexpected Cookbook: The Unofficial Book of Hobbit Cookery from Amazon.com.
