Like Kirk, I was accepted into an elite cadre without any paperwork, background checks, or medical evaluations. Unlike Kirk, my minions don’t work in a heavily armed Apple store. It’s too hard to get the stains out.
Today, we’re boldly going to a world where boring old pain d’epi bread is transformed into a tableside declaration of your loyalty to Starfleet. A lot of people shy away from pain d’epi because the loaf goes stale faster than an internet meme. A day…
This week, we’re boldly going where no adventurous chef has gone before. Actually, much like V’Ger escaping the solar system, a few other enterprising cooks might’ve tried this without reporting back on their experiments. Once a geek makes traditional Hamantaschen it’s almost impossible to resist.…
Ahh. That’s better. My first attempt at recreating Captain America’s shield as a delicious breakfast treat was, ahem, well intentioned. The Mark II shield, however, can patriotically defend you from hunger pangs while hearkening back to a simpler era. Unlike Steve Rogers himself, this recipe…
According to The Doctor, we can thank him for banana daiquiri’s, fish fingers and custard, and the Yorkshire Pudding. This classic British side dish is surprisingly easy to make. Use it to impress redheads, repel Romans, and keep yourself busy while living time the long…
Admit it. When you think about food and the Eleventh Doctor, you expect fish fingers and custard. Of course you do. Everyone loves fish fingers and custard. That’s why I have a whole chapter dedicated to it. Meanwhile, let’s take a look at all the…
Sontaran Soldiers Admit it. The first time you saw the Sontarans, you found yourself craving a fresh baked potato. Luckily for you, that means you have a super simple, easily recognizable, totally Whovian recipe that doesn’t require any special ingredients. As a bonus, it’s even…
Shakespearean Shooter Sandwich That beard. That swagger. Oh, Shakespeare. You’ve never been so sexy. If you slipped into the Tardis for Martha’s first journey back in time, you could not only enjoy the only production of Shakespeare’s “Love’s Labour’s Won,” but also a hearty slice…
Slitheen Eggs Okay, so these are a little smaller and a little less tentacly than Margaret was when she regressed to childhood, but they’re also not sentient, which means you don’t need to feel guilty about chowing down on these marbled green eggs. 4 cups/1…
L.I.N.D.A.’s Tardis Wellington This is a great recipe for getting your mates get together for a little Electric Light Orchestra jam sessions and alien spotting. Don’t be intimidated by the “Wellington” name. This is actually easier to make than most people think. The key is…
Cyberman Ghosts We all know that inside every Cyberman is the brain of a once living human being. Likewise, these sushi balls are stuffed with something deliciously red and bloody 2 cups/270 g sushi rice 2 tbsp/30 ml sweetened sushi rice vinegar (available in the…
Baked Hath Served over Black Beans and Topped with a Red and Green Cabbage Slaw I humbly present a dish inspired by the alien who saved Martha Jones from drowning in quicksand. The fish is for the Hath, the black beans for the sludge he…
By your command, this week we bring you a simple breakfast recipe that’s equally good for soaking up whiskey at a 4 a.m. poker match or keeping your stomach calm after a cocktail of vision inducing herbs and cancer drugs. You can find edible silver…
This is a story of good intentions. I have an entirely irrational love of David Lynch’s 1984 science fiction epic, Dune. (This is almost unrelated to my entirely rational and well thought out love of Frank Herbert’s Dune books. These two things should never be confused.)…
In a galaxy far, far away, there’s nothing disturbing about ritually eating someone’s face. Honest. Keep telling yourself that as you tug off strands of tasty Wookie flesh. You’re not channeling your inner zombie. Heck, you’re not even the same species, so you can’t even…
