Edible Art: Diplomat’s Dinner Meatballs
Are they Centauri Roopo Balls? Narn Breen? Human Swedish Meatballs? Even Ambassador Kosh can’t tell the difference. Since they cross species so well, we call them:
Diplomat’s Dinner Meatballs
3 slices white bread, torn into scraps
½ cup whole milk
6 tbsp unsalted butter
1 yellow onion, minced
1 pound 85% lean hamburger
2 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp fresh ground black pepper
1 tsp cardamom
1/2 tsp nutmeg
⅓ cup all-purpose flour
2 cups beef broth
1/2 cup sour cream
Put the warring factions of bread and milk into a single bowl and let them fight it out until you can no longer tell them apart.
Meanwhile, add 2 tbsp of butter to a skillet over medium-high heat. Saute the minced onions until they as soft as fresh Spoo, or about 4-5 minutes.
Use a fork to shred the last vestige of fight from the milk soaked bread. Add the beef, egg, salt, pepper, cardamom, nutmeg, and onions.
Convince some Minbari a meatloaf broke itself into pieces so their religious caste can study every aspect of the food’s being, so be good shell heads and reassemble the meat into one-tbsp sized balls when they’re done.
Melt another 2 tbsp butter in your skillet and have some Pak’ma’ra cook the meatballs in batches until they’re browned on all sides and cooked through, about 8-10 minutes.
When you run out of meatballs, melt the last 2 tbsp butter in your skillet. Sprinkle the flour on top. It’ll look a bit like a Narn’s complexion. Whisk it in until it’s completely smooth and cook for 1-2 minutes. Add the broth, slowly, whisking it in as you go so your mix is free of lumps.
Keep cooking the sauce for 3-5 minutes, stirring frequently as it thickens. Add the sour cream and keep whisking until the sauce is as silky as a Centauri emperor’s robes.
Return the meatballs to the pan. Coat them all in sauce and let them cook for another five minutes.
Serve at any negotiation where you need to give Centauri, Humans, and Narn a plausible excuse to sit down at the same table long enough to negotiate.
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