Red Velvet Arc Reactor Cookies
Red Velvet Arc Reactor Cookies
Here at Kitchen Overlord, we’re irrationally big fans of red velvet and Iron Man. Naturally, we had to combine the two.
Unlike the intimidatingly complicated Iron Man Sweet Rolls (which, no joke, take about five hours to make) these so easy Thor could make them and so fast The Hulk won’t have time to get angry you didn’t make something green.
Red Velvet Arc Reactor Cookies:
1 box Red Velvet Cake Mix
⅓ cup canola oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
½ tsp red food coloring
3/4 cup room temperature cream cheese
1 cup powdered sugar
½ tsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp butter
1 shot vanilla vodka (or 1 tsp vanilla extract)
Start by preheating your oven to 350F. While it gets all warm and toasty, dump your cake mix, canola oil, vanilla extract, eggs, and red food coloring into a bowl. Give it a good, hearty stir. Within a minute, it should reach the consistency of brownie batter.
Grease a cookie sheet with butter. Yes, butter. This isn’t health food. Now scoop out golf ball sized mounds of dough and place them about 3 inches apart. They’re going to spread. That’s a good thing. You want plenty of canvas to create your arc reactors.
Bake your cookies for 18-22 minutes, depending on how chewy you like them. As soon as they come out of the oven, use a spatula to mash them flat. Otherwise, your icing will run off the sides instead of staying obediently in place.
While the cookies bake, fry up your bananas. I said this was a fast recipe. We’re multitasking here, folks. Melt your butter in a pan. Add the vanilla extract (if you’re not using vanilla vodka). Slice your bananas into neat rounds and toss them all in the sizzling butter. In about five minutes, carefully flip each one over. You should have golden brown lines pointing towards the middle, giving it a nice arc reactor look. Let the second side cook for another four minutes. Before you take them out, deglaze the pan with a shot of vanilla vodka. Really swirl it around in there. I take no responsibility for burn injuries if you stick your tongue directly in the pan. I know how good it smells.
Pull the pan off the burner and let it cool. There’s no reason to take out the bananas. This is a fast and easy recipe. Our philosophy here is less dishes, more eating.
Have twenty minutes passed? Pull those cookies out of the oven. While they cool, it’s time to start mixing up your icing. Dump your room temperature cream cheese, powdered sugar, and vanilla extract in a bowl and beat them all together until they’re nice and smooth. You may think you want to use regular sugar. You’re wrong. Regular sugar will give your icing a grainy mouthfeel while the powdered sugar will make it as smooth as Nick Fury’s head.
Now, Avengers, it’s time to assemble your cookies.
Smear a tablespoon of icing on the middle of each flattened cookie. Try to make a little well in the middle.
If you’re using honey (and you should), squeeze a few drops in the middle. Use your finger to swirl them around. The goal here is to create a gradation of color (and keep the honey from running.) White heat at the edge of the arc reactor giving way to a more golden color. When you’re satisfied with the smear, top it with a single slice of fried banana. If you prefer, you can add a slice of unfried banana. No one is grading you.
These don’t look as much like an arc reactor as something carefully sculpted from fondant or meticulously drawn using icing pens. However, unlike fondant, the icing doesn’t taste like sweetened silly putty and unlike icing pens, these can be thrown together while you’re hung over. Sometimes, even the craftiest geeks need a little simplicity.
Need more Iron Man recipes in your life? After starting your day with Tony Stark’s Power Breakfast then throwing back our Iron Man Cocktail, check out our Iron Man Sweet Rolls. Much like Tony Stark himself, they’re complicated, but worth it.
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