Hey, Hoopy Froods! In honor of Towel Day, we bring you something more to snack on than a bag of peanuts and cup of not-tea while you curl up with your favorite towel and a copy of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
Hitchhiker’s Guide BBQ Towel Rangoons
- 1 sheet unperforated crescent roll dough
- 4 cups water
- 2 chicken breasts
- 4 black tea bags
- 1 star anise
- 2 chopped cloves garlic
- 2 tbsp soy sauce
- 2 pinches red pepper flakes
- 1/3 cup BBQ sauce
- 1 packet peanuts
- 1 towel
Boil water. I know the concept of forcibly changing a liquid into a gas by adding heat is terrifying, but I have faith that you’ll use your power responsibly.
Add tea bags, garlic, anise, soy sauce, and red pepper flakes. Let the concoction steep for 4 minutes. Remove bags to make it “not tea.”
Take the pan off the heat. Add the chicken breasts. Cover and let poach for 25 minutes.
Remove chicken and shred it with two forks.
Preheat oven to 375F.
Gently press both sides of the crescent dough into a clean towel for texture.
Cut dough into squares.
Put 2-3 tbsp shredded chicken and ½ tbsp bbq sauce in the middle of each square.
Pull all 4 corners together. Pinch like you’re making a crab rangoon.* Or a badly folded towel from the bottom of your linen closet.
Bake for 11-12 minutes or until your towels are golden brown and look like they spent too much time in a tanning bed before lying about a vacation in Spain.
Serve with peanuts, in case you need to go through a matter transference beam, and a cup of the healthy, nutritious poaching liquid, which now tastes almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
* In case you don’t have a kitchen, if you suck on all four corners of your hitchhiker towel at once it will taste like bbq.