Okay, according to Moffatt, Capaldi is actually the 12th Doctor, but I’m not about to leave John Hurt’s amazing War Doctor out of any lineup. Therefore, in honor of the 13th Doctor’s return to television, I present you with 13 Whovian recipes you can make for under $13.
1) White Chocolate Cyberman Heads
If a tray of fish fingers and custards isn’t enough to impress your picky Whovian friends, these white chocolate cybermen will assimilate their snobishness. Best of all, you can make an entire tray full of them for less than $10 in about half an hour.
2) Sontaran Potato Head Soldiers
All hail the glory of Sontar! Even Strax, would have to admire an army of these baked potato soldiers spread across your table, ready to conquor your hunger. You can tart them up so they’re as fancy as anything Vastra and Jenny would serve or make them as plain and simple as a futuristic ration bar. They fit great into any budget, since the most expensive ingredient is actually the blue cupcake holders.
3) Zygon Head Pizza Bread
If you’re lucky enough to know any red haired twins or cosplayers who always show up in something identical, have them carry around a tray of Zygon Head Pizza Bread while arguing over which one is really the Virgin Queen of England.
4) Cybermen Pull Apart Bread
Pick up a can of edible silver spray paint at any craft or hobby store. The step-by-step instructions walk you through the process of turning boring lumps of dough into a creature bent on assimilating your tastebuds.
5) Slitheen Eggs
This recipe proves the TARDIS isn’t the only thing that’s more impressive on the inside. If you really want to freak out your fellow foodies, serve this easy variation on Chinese Tea Eggs alongside some curry mayo (posing as custard.) The eggs taste great with the curry, plus the sauce makes a great dip for fish fingers.
6) Ood Cookies
These affordable cherry-coconut Ood cookies will sing your hunger to it’s sleep. If you’re feeling extra fancy, try posing them with a white gumdrop for the translation sphere connected to the cookies via a strip of red vines or fruit leather.
7) Cucumber Cybermen
If you’ve only got $1 to your name, you have all it takes to make these fast and easy Cucumber Cybermen assimilate your party’s veggie tray.
8) Dalek Bread
If you’re terrified of the demon that lives in your kitchen’s hot box, you can still make a fun, no-bake Dalek to bring to your next viewing party. All it takes is a loaf of French Bread, a little Nutella, and some candy.
9) Sontaran Potato Chip Cookies
From the fields of Trenzalore to the depths of Kitchen Stadium, these spuddy soldiers shall judge you and your love for all things equally sweet and salty.
10) Timey Wimey Blue Curacao TARDIS Cake
If you own the official Doctor Who silicone baking pans, you need a properly blue cake batter worthy of the mold. Instead of wasting your money on a cheap box of blue velvet mix from the store, try this easy orange flavored cake. After all, the Doctor always has a satsuma lying around somewhere. You might as well put it to good use.
11) Pull Apart Bowtie Rolls
You serve bowties now. Bowties are cool. You already have most of what you need to make a big batch of edible menswear. In addition to the flour, sugar, butter, and eggs, the only special ingredients are food coloring and powdered sugar for the glaze.
12) Red Velvet Fez Cupcakes
You serve fezzes now. Fezzes are cool. They’re also a fast, easy way to please your fellow Whovains. All you need is a box of red velvet cake mix, a tub of icing, some red food coloring, and a black icing pen, all of which you can round up for under $10.
13) Crack in the Wall of Space Time
You can make your very own crack in the fabric of space time for $6 in 30 minutes. Action figure of Rory the Roman not included.
If you need more help prepping for The Doctor’s return, pick up a copy of Dining With The Doctor: The Unauthorized Whovian Cookbook.