Edible Art: Cafe Diem’s Five Alarm Chili

Kitchen Overlord - Vincent's Five Alarm Chili from Eureka

Use this easy recipe to beat all your rival culinary mad scientists at the next chili cookoff.

Cafe Diem’s Five Alarm Chili

2 pounds lean hamburger
1 large yellow onion, chopped
1 medium green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 (12-oz) bottle dark beer
1 (4-oz) can chopped jalapenos
2 (14-ounce) cans Mexican-style diced tomatoes
1 (15-ounce) can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
2 chipotle chiles in adobo, chopped
2 tbsp chili powder
2 tbsp brown sugar
½ tbsp cumin
2 teaspoons kosher salt

Have some local, vat-grown, cruelty-free meat ground into hamburger at Henry’s Garage.

While Vincent is sleeping, sneak into Cafe Diem and brown the hamburger in a dutch oven.

Let Taggart show off his Australian knife skills on the onion, bell pepper & garlic. Mix them in and cook until the onion browns, 6-8 minutes.

Sneak some jalapenos, chili powder, cumin, and kosher salt from Vincent’s stash.

Mix them in and cook for another 3-4 minutes, stirring often.

Grab two of S.A.R.A.H.’s home brewed beers. Drink one and pour the other in the pot.

Give Sheriff Carter a can opener for the tomatoes, beans, and chipotle chiles. Pour them into the pot and add the brown sugar.

Stir well and bring everything to a boil.

Stir the pot again, put the lid on, and turn the heat down to low.

Have Jo guard the door while your chili simmers, covered, for 30-40 minutes.

Uncover and cook for 10 more minutes before serving.

If you’re afraid of a little heat, let Sheriff Carter rescue your taste buds with by adding corn chips, sour cream, or sharp, grated cheddar cheese.

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