Be honest. Is there anything more white bread than Scott Summers? We can make that a literal reality, but it’ll take a lot of repetitive, dull work. Scott would love it.
Before we get started making an homage to the big blue boyscout, let’s talk about superheroes. Using nothing but red, blue, and yellow, you can make a heck of a lot of popular superhero logos, including Cyclops (obviously), Mystique, Superman, Iron Man, Daredevil, and The Flash. Add in some white stars and you have Wonder Woman. A little black will get you Spiderman, Deadpool, or Hellboy. If you’re not afraid of making food that looks suspiciously like a penis, add in a little purple and you get Magneto’s helmet. (Seriously, folks, every time I try to make a Magneto recipe for Kitchen Overlord I break down in a fit of penis-helmet induced giggles and have to drink heavily until I can breathe again.)
I bring this up for one reason. Sure, you could follow the instructions below to make one full size loaf of blue bread plus two petite loaves of yellow and red just to achieve a single Cyclops, but, if you’re going to go to the frenzied hassle of making three wads of brightly colored dough, why not double the recipes and make homages to all your favorite characters?
You can find my Superman bread here, my Wonder Woman bread here, or plenty of Deadpool related recipes here. I can tell you that making three colored batches of bread in quick succession is a pain in the ass, so do yourself a favor, study the Minimalist Superheroes above, pick out your favorites, and double everything in the recipe. C’mon, no one loves Scott Summers enough to make two giant loaves of white bread in his honor. Make one for him (because it’s easy) and another for your favorite red, blue and yellow hero. You’ll thank me later.
Scott Summers Optic Blasted Bread
Blue Dough:
1 tbsp yeast
¼ cup + 1 tbsp white sugar
1 cup very warm water
2 tbsp softened butter
1 tsp salt
3 cups bread flour
2 tbsp blue food coloring
Yellow Dough:
1/2 tbsp yeast
3 tbsp white sugar, divided
1/2 cup very warm water
1 tbsp softened butter
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups bread flour
1 tbsp yellow food coloring
Red Dough:
1/2 tbsp yeast
3 tbsp white sugar, divided
1/2 cup very warm water
1 tbsp softened butter
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups bread flour
1 tbsp red food coloring
Let’s pretend you’re Scott’s father, Corsair. You and I know no amount of edible homage will ever make up for tossing Scott and Alex out of an airplane so he could go bang an intergalactic furry, but deadbeat dads have interesting notions of how to make it up to their kids. Work with it.
Start with the blue dough. To make a loaf of good, old fashioned white bread, mix the yeast with 1 tbsp of sugar. Dissolve those in the very warm water then wait while the alchemical miracle awakens the beast slumbering within the yeast. It will rise up, turning into a frothy dome. Before it can reach out to Cypher and start begging for UN rights, add the butter, salt, and food coloring. Whisk those into a state of confusion, then add the flour. Keep mixing until you achieve a stiff dough. Soften the dough by kneading it. If you’re using your hands, gently knead it for 8-10 minutes, like a kitten kneading its mother for milk (never, ever ask Corsair how he knows this), or if you’re using a stand mixer, let it do the work for 6-8 minutes.
Once the dough is glossy and smooth, scoop it into a lightly greased bowl, cover it with a kitchen towel, and move onto the next color.
I know this will shock you, but you’re now going to repeat the exact same process with the yellow dough. When you’re finished, do it again with the red.
If you worked fast, your doughs should be no more than 10 minutes apart, which is no big deal. If you’re worried about the blue and yellow breads rising too much faster than the red, put them in the fridge when you’re done kneading. After you finish the red dough, pull the other two out of the fridge and let them all sit out on the counter to foment rebellion for the next hour.
You can’t have that. Put down the bread rebellion by giving each of the three loaves one solid punch. That should be enough to deflate them.
Now cut the red dough into quarters. Roll one quarter into a rectangle roughly the same size as the bottom of your favorite loaf pan. Trim away the edges and set it aside.
Cut the yellow dough in half. Roll it out into a rectangle. Place the red rectangle in the middle.
Carefully trim the edges of the yellow rectangle so it neatly folds over the red. You now have the red line of an optic blast surrounded by Scott’s yellow visor. All you need to complete the effect is his blue uniform.
Cut your blue dough in half. Form one half of it into a neat, tidy rectangle in honor of Scott Summers and place it in the bottom of your bread pan.
Roll the other half out flat. Wrap it around the yellow dough, making sure the bottom overlaps on both sides. Neatly place the blue wrapped visor on top of the blue uniform base.
After all that handling, let the dough relax and rise for the next 45 minutes. If you have any leftover dough, this is a good time to either pay homage to another beloved superhero or just fold it all up and make another tri-colored loaf. I have a Super Heroic French Toast Cassarole coming up where you can put that extra bread to good use.
Roughly an hour later, after the bread has doubled in size, whisk together an egg, 1 tbsp of water, and 1 tsp of vanilla. Use a pastry brush to paint that on top of the loaf. This will make your house smell amazing while also giving Scott that extra bit of polish and sheen he needs.
Bake the loaf at 375F for 30-35 minutes, or until the top is golden brown and sounds hollow when tapped.
No matter how much you want to cut right into it, let the bread sit for at least 15 minutes (preferably, until cooled) before attacking it with a knife. Any sooner and you’ll just rip it up, creating holes and spreading multi-colored crumbs.
If you let it cool completely, you can cut this into sandwich sized slices in order to make the most superheroic sandwich this side of the mutant apocalypse.
Stay tuned, true believers, for an awesome way to use up any leftovers from this recipe!
Need more Marvel-ous recipes?
Come back every day this week for a new one or check out our virtual library of existing edible comic book illustrations.
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