We’ve come a long way from the nutritious poisoning of the Kingdom’s past! Once upon a time, you could tempt a girl with nothing more than an apple. Today’s princesses require more finessing. Tell me, magic mirror! What must I conjure to rid the kingdom of that insufferable Snow White!

Lips red as a cherry
Hair black as an Oreo
Skin white as cream
Snow White is a foodie’s dream, bro.

As long as you dream of delicious jelly bars.

Snow White Squares

by Sarah Wright

1 pkg red jello powder
2 1/2 tsps (1pkg) plain gelatin powder
2 cups milk
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups Oreo cookie crumbs (or other chocolate cookie crumbs)
1/4 cup melted butter or margarine
1 cup fresh cherries or cherry pie filling
1 1/2 cups boiling water

1. Mix the Oreo crumbs and melted butter and press into a 9×9 pan. Let cool in the fridge for 10 minutes or so.

2. Mix the milk, sugar and vanilla.

3. Pour a 1/4 cup or so of the milk mix into a microwave safe container and mix in the gelatin powder. Microwave for ten seconds then stir. do this until the powder has dissolved (usually 40 seconds total)

4. Pout the milk slowly over the Oreo crust. Pouring it over a spoon helps leave the crust undisturbed but don’t worry if a few crumbles float to the top. Refrigerate till firm (about an hour)

5. Mix the red jello powder, and cherries. Add the boiling water and stir till the jello dissolves.

6. Let the hot jello mixture cool to room temperature before slowly pouring it onto the creamy layer. Once again pouring over a spoon helps a lot but don’t worry if it’s not perfect.

7. Let cool for another hour or so in the fridge then slice and serve!