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Cucumber Cybermen Will Assimilate Your Veggie Tray

Cyberman Cucumber Heads

This week I’m honoring my laziest readers with cheap, fast, easy recipes for your Whovain viewing party. So far, I’ve brought you $10 Zygon Head Pizza Bread and $10 Fez Cupcakes – but what if you’re down to nothing more than the spare change in your sofa until next payday?

I’ve got you covered.

This is really more of a sculpture project than a recipe, but hey, it’s fast, it’s easy, it doesn’t require any specialized tools, and most of all – it’ll still impress your fellow Doctor Who fans. Grab your spare change and bad intentions, because it’s time to assimilate your veggie tray.

Cucumber Cybermen

2 large, fresh cucumbers
1 small spoon
1 vaguely sharp knife
1 tsp whatever seed based spices you have in your kitchen


Start by peeling your cucumber. Try to get some good, long strips. You’ll want those soon.


Now cut your cucumber in half. Don’t be scared of all those seeds in the middle. We’re about to cover them all up.

Go to the ends of your cucumber. See that beautiful, seed-free (or at least seed-lite) area? Cut a handful of nice, thin discs.


Grab your smallest spoon. Carefully use the edge to punch a dent out of the forehead. That is now the top. The opposite end is the bottom. Create the cheekbones and shape of the face by punching out two more little moons, one on each side of the face. Right now, it looks kind of like some kind of half assed warning symbol. That’s good.


Grab a seed-infested slice from the middle of the cucumber. Cover it up with your newly carved face. With that roundness behind it, it’s already looking more like a Cyberman.

Use your knife to cut a slit for the mouth.


Add two seeds for eyes. I used coriander, because it’s round and brown and I happened to have some in my kitchen. Don’t stress over this. Pick whatever seeds you have around. If you don’t have any seeds, chop up some raisins and use those for the eyes. This is all about keeping it cheap and easy.

Create the finishing touch by adding a head antenna. To make it, simply grab one of those peel slices you set aside. Cut it length-wise so it’s about the same thickness as your cucumber face. Use your fingers to messily gauge the width of the face. Now gently break (but don’t rip) the cucumber peel. It should snap into a nice right angle. Arrange it over the forehead, with the sides pointing down.

If you only have a buck to your name, you should be able to get two cucumbers. This is, hands down, the cheapest thing you can bring to a party. If you were able to dig a couple dollars worth of change out of your sofa, go wild and add some celery (obviously), a bag of baby carrots, and some hummus. (Tell your friends to bring the bananas and satsumas.) You now have a fun, cheap, Whovian veggie tray you can assemble for under $10 in about 20 minutes.

Cyberman Cucumber Heads Rectangle

Come back every day this week for an original Doctor Who recipe never before seen on Kitchen Overlord.

If you need more help prepping for The Doctor’s return, pick up a copy of Dining With The Doctor: The Unauthorized Whovian Cookbook.

Dining With The Doctor: The Unauthorized Whovian Cookbook