Turkey tenderloins are almost the same size and shape as a human calf muscle. Keep yourself busy on slow nights between battles by using these to prank your fellow survivors into thinking you’ve joined the ranks of the undead.
World War Z…ombie Tenderloins
4 turkey tenderloins
1⁄4 cup chili powder
2 tbsp cumin
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp sweet paprika
1 tsp kosher salt
5 tbsp olive oil
Use your hands to mix the chili powder, cumin, brown sugar, paprika, and kosher salt until your palms look bloody.
Massage the mix into your turkey tenderloins until they look disturbingly like human flesh.
Drizzle each tenderloin with 1 tbsp of olive oil and rub it in until the muscle looks raw and bloody.
Drizzle the fifth tbsp of oil into a baking pan to keep the tenderloins from sticking.
Wrap the top in aluminum foil then bake at 400F for 40 minutes.
Remove the foil. Turn the heat up to broil and leave them in there for another 3-4 minutes. The browning gives your tenderloins the rusty look of dried blood.
Serve resting on a bed of Madeira sauce so it will look like the muscle bled out.
You may be tempted to grill these. Sure, grilled meat is delicious, and every post-apocalyptic setting is full of literal fires waiting to be put out, but grill marks ruin the freshly-ripped-from-a-bleeding-victim look. Resist the temptation.
