5 Ingredient, No-Cook, Bloody Vegan Banana Guts
• 4 ripe bananas, nearly black
• 3-4 tbsp brown sugar
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp red food coloring
• 1 tbsp white sugar
Just like real guts, these are wet and sometimes disturbingly mobile. You need an absorbent surface to keep them from sliding around as though they’re trying to escape. I resorted to a brown paper bag. Use whatever you’ve got handy.
Mix up the brown sugar and cinnamon and sprinkle that on the paper bag or directly on the part of the crepes where you plan to stage your guts. Lay down a good foundation. The cinnamon sugar is there for flavor as well as traction.
Now peel those black, almost rotted bananas and unceremoniously drop them into a big bowl. This recipe requires no cooking. The natural chemical reactions that take place as a banana slowly ripens past the point where you’d eat it in public does all the work for you.
Grab a cheap plastic grocery store squeezy bottle of red food coloring and awkwardly squirt it over them. Here’s the important part – don’t mash your color into the bananas. You want to have some pure white guts sticking up through the bloody red exterior.
Gently toss the bananas around in the bowl for a little bit so the exterior soaks up the color. The really black ones are both sweeter and more absorbent, which is a win-win.
Slide the guts out of the bowl and straight onto the cinnamon sugar, handing them as little as possible. Gently nudge the guts with your fingers (cutlery will rip them too much) to ensure they loop around so they look like they’ve just been pulled from a screaming corpse. Add a couple extra drops of food coloring directly to a few strategic areas to make your guts look extra bloody.
Black bananas may sound gross, but they make a delicious spreadable paste. If you want to go full cannibal, smear a little bit of the guts and a little bit of Nutella on top of a cookie to make a dessert sandwich. Make eye contact and smile with all your teeth when you take a bite.
If you have any leftovers, these make a great bloody guts sandwich with a little peanut butter and honey.
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