If you don’t live in Colorado or Oregon, it’s not easy being green. Those of you who are staying home from work on Monday with a bad case of (rag)weed fever clearly need some nourishing snacks to help you recuperate. Kitchen Overlord is here to help.
Breakfast: Captain America’s Breakfast SHIELD
Start your epic day with a DVD of The Avengers. You can make your own edible version of Captain America’s shield in the time it takes to wait through the mandatory ads from 2012.
Morning Snack: Vegan (Futurama) Popplers
After a breakfast of bachelor chow and a six pack of Slurm for lunch, the best thing you can have for dinner is a huge plate of Popplers. Since the Omicronians no longer let us eat their delicious children, not even when deep fried and dipped in honey mustard sauce, we poor sad Earthicans of the year 3000 have been forced to make substitutes using stupid things like flour and sugar.
Lunch: Arrakeen Sandworm Wellington
Dune. Arrakis. Desert Planet. David Lynch’s black leather clad sand bondage rendition of Dune makes the most sense when stoned.
Show your Fremen friends a little Caladan magic by magically transforming turkey tenderloins, sliced cheese, a little mustard, and some packaged crescent rolls into the Great Maker of your dinner table.
Afternoon Snack: (Not So) Problematic Ice Planets
Losing Firefly after only one season may be problematic, but your food doesn’t have to be. Throw together these surprisingly easy ice planets before your next Firefly marathon. Just make sure not to wash off all the edible silver spray with your salty fannish tears.
Dinner: Fish Fingers and Custard Tacos
Who says you have to eat your fish fingers dipped directly into custard? Go ahead and throw some fish fingers in the oven and crack open a can of custard for your dinner time Doctor Who marathon. You can dip a couple fish fingers into the custard for authenticity’s sake, but if you’ve got a bad case of the munchies, why not substitute some honey mustard or mango salsa for the custard and turn your anglophile spread into a nommy tex-mex delight?
Evening Snack: Alien Xenomorph Eggs
Game over, man! Game over! You’ve made it this far without getting paranoid, but deep down you know they mostly come out at night. Mostly.