YOU CAN’T KEEP ME FROM MY SALVATION ON THE FURY ROAD, HOME DEPOT! I went to Michael’s. AND IT WAS GLORIOUS!
I sleep. I dine. I sleep again. If I’m gonna dine, I’m gonna dine historic, in the Kitchen Overlord’s lair! For I found the spray that fuels me through the fiercest battles!
So shiny! So Chrome! And so useful!
A glorious death in battle is the only sure way to Valhalla, and these Ice Planets give me the energy for a glorious end on the Fury Road!
But I don’t drive alone. Together with me mates Larry, Barry and Handles, WE RIDE FOR VALHALLA!
WITTNESS ME! When we ride through the gates to the next world, we’ll see Immortan Joe.
His rig will hold a throne just like this, all shiny and chrome!
His flying satellites bring terror to those below while forever whispering our location in his ear.
He’ll cover our engine blocks in chocolate silver skulls that never melt.
And mount the skulls of our enemies on our steering wheels.
Then make our mouths all shiny and chrome with food of warriors.
There’ll be no cancer, for after every victory, he’ll feed us apples picked from the tree of life. Better than mothers milk, they are! And they fit right into your car cup holder for easy access when you’re called into battle!
If you don’t have Wilton’s Silver Mist, YOU CAN’T DO WAR! But if you wear it into battle, making your face all shiny and chrome, upon your death a Wilton employee will personally carry you through the gates of Valhalla!
I am the scales of justice, conductor of the choir of death, and Wilton’s Silver Mist feels like hope!
