After three deaths and nine maimings at Thunderdome #7, I decided to order my minions a somewhat more “nutritious” subscription box. When I first received this month’s package from KlutchClub, I thought The Pharaoh sent me a purse as a surprise present. Instead, I found…
You can stuff these sheets of puff pastry with whatever ground meat (or meat-ish) mixture you happen to have around the house. I usually have some home made taco meat in the freezer, but tonight I happened to have some leftover vegan keema. The total…
No one expects the SPANISH RICE INQUISITION! This is a great recipe for people who always look on the bright side of life yet are responsible enough to end their meals with a wafer thin mint. Ingredients: 2 cups long-grain white rice 4 Roma tomatoes…
Today, we’re boldly going to a world where boring old pain d’epi bread is transformed into a tableside declaration of your loyalty to Starfleet. A lot of people shy away from pain d’epi because the loaf goes stale faster than an internet meme. A day…
We received our first delivery of “snacks” here at the lair. You don’t need them. I provide all your nutritional needs in a convenient go-gurt like form which I promise isn’t made from the dissolved bodies of your fallen minions. Still, some of you complain…
Summer is around the corner, which means means it’s time to start courting your future ant minions by coercing innocent humans into dining outdoors. My go-to picnic dishes are always cold salads. I don’t have to worry about off temperature chicken giving people food poisoning,…
I have a confession to make. Some days, life gets a little lonely here at the Kitchen Overlord lair. Sure, I can always make a few minions fight it out in our Thunderdome cage with nothing to defend themselves but week old stale baguettes and…
In space, no one can hear you squee. These eggs are as deceptive as an adorable newly spawned facehugger yet far easier to stomach. In case of emergency, make a batch to serve unexpected Vegans, Predators, or Aliens.
Dude, I don’t detect any life forms down here, but you’ve got to see this hatchery. It looks like the adults of this species hid all their kids in this cave. Man, looking at the acid damage and mangled blast doors, that must’ve been the…
I’m taking this one loaf at a time. At least, that’s the plan. Unfortunately, so darn many bread recipes are for two huge, hearty loaves. I can see why that’s convenient, but I live in a post-South Beach diet world. Carbs are sinful indulgences, not…
Just looking at that makes my mouth water. I’m overcome by the gloriously red flesh, the hints of muscular texture, and the overwhelming feeling that my neighbors might taste better with a nice citrus-ginger glaze. Wait. No. I mustn’t think that way. These feelings aren’t…
Life can be hard on the outer planets. Sometimes you have whole bunch of hungry mouths to feed and nothing but a bag of onions to stuff in their pie holes. If you’re similarly afflicted, take a cue from Mama Cobb and turn them onions…
