Igor! Fire up the lightning generator! We’ve made so many edible ears, eyes, and brains – now, my minion, it is time for us to ensure our creation can nourish its mind as well as its body. It needs bravery, strength, and most of all, bloody red (velvet) guts!
I’ve been to so many academic conferences where they refused to understand my brilliance, Igor. They sip their wine and nibble off charcuterie plates covered in flesh, cheese, figs, and jam, never understanding that with a little vision, they have everything they need to breathe life into a whole new creation!
Bwa ha ha! Fire up the lightning generator and pull a corpse out of the freezer, Igor! I shan’t make my creation suffer with a rotting, discarded brain. Nay, I shall make one from scratch and fill the mind of my beloved with only the sweetest of thoughts!
You only need 5 minutes and 5 ingredients to make a gross, no-cook, vegan Halloween recipe guaranteed to gross out your guests!
Making ears only takes five ingredients, but I’m afraid it’s a gory process. Our raw materials begin looking pure and clean, but by the time we’re done, our artificial ears spontaneously bleed like they’re freshly severed from one of the corpses down in the basement.
Bring gore to the table this Halloween with meat (or vegan meat-ish) stuffed puff pastry guts!